mal•toons

facebook needs sound effects

2011-12-10T16:54:00.002-06:00

Halloween Warning

2011-10-27T12:36:00.000-05:00

Arrrgh.

2011-09-18T12:33:00.001-05:00

2011-08-12T14:10:00.000-05:00

Yes, I realize that LEGALLY, he's actually correct- but come on, it still sounds absurd and amoral coming out of anyone's mouth. That's because it is absurd and not just amoral, but immoral. How'd I do at making him look as plastic, stiff, polished and fake as I could?

By the way, here's the Wikipedia entry on why this election will be as frightening as any in our history, in case you're interested:

Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, 558 U.S. 08-205 (2010), was a landmark decision by the United States Supreme Court holding that corporate funding of independent political broadcasts in candidate elections cannot be limited—because of the First Amendment. The 5–4 decision, in favor of Citizens United, resulted from a dispute over whether the non-profit corporation Citizens United could air a film critical of Hillary Clinton, and whether the group could advertise the film in broadcast ads featuring Clinton's image, in apparent violation of the 2002Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act, commonly known as the McCain–Feingold Act.^[2]

The South Will Rise Again!

2011-08-11T13:10:00.000-05:00

Let's face it, Nixon had a "Southern Strategy" and Lee Atwater had Reagan start his campaign in Philadelphia, Mississippi to take advantage of "latent" prejudices essentially to the capture the Confederate voters who left the Democratic party when LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act and the Republican party has pretty much been the party of anti-intellectual, straight, white, Evangelical males ever since. Now we have Rick Perry because Mitt Romney isn't Christian enough and Sarah Palin and Michelle Michelle Bachmann are still women.

A 'C' student governor from Texas that everybody would love to have a beer with... hmmm, where have I seen this movie before?

No Mr. Bond-Market, I expect you to DIE!

2011-08-01T13:36:00.000-05:00

Conciliatory to a fault?

2011-07-30T14:05:00.000-05:00

Smurfalicious

2011-07-30T13:37:00.004-05:00

Mal•Adjusted

2011-07-28T08:25:00.003-05:00

Sheez. I forgot how much work it takes to draw, scan, process, and write these silly trifles.

Sometimes the phonetic pronunciation fits more than others

2011-07-27T13:31:00.000-05:00

Obstructions-R-US

2011-07-27T07:55:00.007-05:00

Head Drama

2011-07-26T19:23:00.000-05:00

Exclusive; Rare Sighting!

2011-07-25T20:17:00.000-05:00

Stupid Chic

2011-06-28T12:54:00.000-05:00

I have plenty of other things I should've been doing today, but the anger and bile just got too backed up and I had to either let it out or it was about to kill me. Sorry, loved ones, I've fallen off the wagon. I know how much political cartooning hurts everyone around me, but I just wasn't able to keep walking the straight and narrow. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to behave civilly. I'll ask my higher-power to help me. Meanwhile SOMEONE has to point out that politicians should really be required to pass a test in U.S. History and Civics before even being allowed to open their mouths on camera, let alone run for President.

More Equal Than Others

2011-06-26T20:42:00.000-05:00

An homage to two great heroes, George Orwell's 'Animal Farm' and Grant Wood's 'Daughters of the American Revolution.'

Something New

2011-06-26T16:34:00.000-05:00

At last, something new. But I'm not promising much. As the toon implies, this is really a test-run. I had to do some PC repair for my wife and daughter so they can print project reports for 4H, since we have a combo printer/scanner, this gave me the opportunity to test them both. I'm interested in the different feel I got by just using an old fashioned #2 pencil instead of pen before scanning it into Photohop.

Notice also the stitches from where I had that bump on my forehead removed last week. My kids say it looks creepy and my wife called me "FrankenTed" today.

I can see trying to simply keep a cartoon diary. Nothing as elaborate as "American Splendor," the cult-classic alternative/underground autobiographical comic books by the late Harvey Pekar that I think are the inspiration for 2003 film staring Paul Giamatti, just single-panel gags riffing on the banal, mundane, tedium of being me. But I don't know if I could do that daily or even weekly, though it would certainly be good creative-discipline to try. And I'm all about discipline, just ask my wife.

Okay, that didn't come out right- that was meant to be an ironic statement about my being an adult-ADHD scatterbrain. If you thought it sounded like I like being disciplined, get your mind out of my gutter!

Anyway, now that I know I have a scanner at home, that's one less excuse. But, cartooning has the same difficulties as writing- "Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult." ~Stephen Leacock

I seem to find myself somewhere between fame and fortune or wide spread prominence (cartooning for thousands of readers) and absolute obscurity (cartooning just for myself). It means a lot to me that the few of you are out there, long time friends and something like "fans," encouraging me with comments on facebook about how you want me to toon s'more and post them here. Thank you, I appreciate it.

Man Overboard

2011-06-24T15:54:00.000-05:00

This could be a commentary on the 500-Year-Floods on the Missouri River.

It could be more of a visual analogy; the "waves" of corn in the fields can make driving through the countryside feel a little bit like being on the oceans. In that way, this could be seen as a form of visual poetry.

Of course, it could also be that I wanted to finally post something to my cartooning blog, felt like playing in Photoshop, was too lazy to get out of my chair and look for my sketchpad, and a boat floating in corn is the only thing I could think of. Oops, did I just end a run-on sentence with a preposition? Watch out for the grammar NAZI's.

Join my facebook group

2011-06-24T15:04:00.000-05:00

Wanna see tons of my cartoons in one place?
Visit http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_19410678559&view=photos

Making plans to return to tooning regularly as a hobby- just haven't quite got the gumption yet. Wish me some.

America's Original Sin

2011-05-05T10:13:00.001-05:00

I'm not really sure what this means. You sometimes hear of slavery or racism referred to as "America's Original Sin." I've been reading a lot of Cornel West lately and I'm beginning to wonder if either "manifest destiny" or imperialism/colonialism/mercantilism aren't our "forbidden fruit," we fought for our independence from Brittan, but couldn't wait for those opportunities to be the big man on campus- Mexican War, Spanish-American War, WWI, oil and influence.

Of course, being a bleeding-heart liberal, I could believe that any of Martin Luther King's big 3 evils are our corporate sins- Materialism, Militarism, and Racism.

I believe it was Republican President Calvin Coolidge who said that the chief business of America is business and that "The man who builds a factory builds a temple." Too bad manufacturing is pretty much dead now days, I suppose if Cool Cal were around today he'd consider Goldman Sacs a temple. Conservatives like to go on about our Christian heritage, but they forget to mention that the Pilgrims were working for the London Virginia Company or that the Jamestown settlers were working for the London Company. It would be great if America were really founded on Biblical morals and religious freedom, but let's face it, gold, tobacco, competition for global trade, cotton, and slavery all played pretty hefty roles.

Anyway- just trying to provoke critical thinking. It's been a long time since I either drew a cartoon or collaged a piece of satire like this. Have fun being provoked. Happy National Cartoonist Day.

MAY 5, Every Year

2011-05-05T08:34:00.002-05:00

Been a long time

2010-12-16T15:50:00.002-06:00

Obviously this is inspired by the song about Santa Claus.
I suppose you could substitute Big Brother for the NSA, CIA or Wikileaks,
depending on your personal paranoia.

Has it actually been a year or more since I've posted any cartoons at all? Well, these are REALLY fast/sketch ones. I just had these ideas for jokes and our school upgraded our Photoshop, so I thought I'd throw them together quickly. Can't promise I'm back in the habit, but I'll try to take a sketchbook home with me over Christmas break. Who knows.

I couldn't decide whether to make the cook the donkey, Uncle Sam, or President Obama. This one is really vague and broad, so it could almost be timeless. Beltway Republicans like red herrings. They also like to put up "straw-men" so they can knock them down. Previous examples were flag burning and gay marriage, not to mention terrorist boogie-men. These days they're claiming to be deficit-hawks who want to cut government spending, even though they're pretty bad at math since they're so hell-bent on tax cuts for the super rich. Watch, next will be Tax "Reform," and of course Wikileaks.

Yeah, maybe you think it's cheap or "cheating" to use some collage elements in there instead of actually drawing them but let me point out-

I said I threw them together quick so I wasn't being really meticulous.
These are pretty much just for me or for this blog, so there's no editor or publisher to try to impress.
Check out some of the work of German 1920's/30's DADAist John Heartfield (aka: Helmut Herzfeld). The guy was a genius.

His politically charged photomontages provoked the ire of the Third Reich. I admire Heartfield almost as much as I do Thomas Nast or Jeff McNelly, so I see no problem with using all the tools available to craft whatever it is you call what I have saved on this blog thing here.

Funnies Aficionado; Strangers in Paradise

2010-07-29T12:35:00.000-05:00

http://www.strangersinparadise.com/sipindex.html

I love visual/graphic, sequential, story telling. Ok, "Comics." But I'm not really into aliens and mutants and people in tight, colorful costumes (well, except maybe for Mardigras).I once spent an hour and a half in a comic book store trying to find a graphic novel by a specific writer/artist team because their book emphasized relationships and emotional/intellectual struggles, not just action and violence. I finally found what I wanted, only to realize once I got home that it was the very same comic that I had already bought and read a year before.

What can I say? I guess other readers (presumably younger ones) are more interested in imagination and escapism, maybe even living vicariously- but I'm more interested in compelling story telling.

Terry Moore is a compelling story teller. It's no wonder Moore had already won one Will Eisner award and has been nominated for another, plus a Rubin, plus a Harvey award. Personally I think that Moore's style, both writing and drawing is far more reminiscent of Will Eisner' "the Spirit,' than the team DC Comics has reviving that series.

But Moore's characters aren't fighting crime or saving the world (usually), they're just trying to figure themselves out and help each other get through life, sort of like the rest of us. Unfortunately for me, as usual, I'm climbing on the band-wagon after the parade is over. Moore is wrapping up his master comic, 'Stranger's in Paradise,' after a 17 year run.

Strangers ("SIP") is a character-driven "dramadie" that revolves around Francine, Katina, and David, twenty-something friends caught in an unrequited love triangle. The tension is subtly played, it took me three issues to begin to catch on. David is an ex gang-banger/Art Major who's in love with Katina, who is a successful artist who's in love with Francine, who's Katina's straight best friend just an average girl with your average weight complex and an average job who's trying to make her way in the world.

There really isn't a lot of sexual tension in SIB, the emphasis is placed on friendship and loyalty. No kissing, not flirting or indulging in the erotic... at least not between the three main characters. There's plenty of dating and relationship struggles and angst.

Moore's drawing style is fluid, nuanced, attractive and at times sultry, without ever becoming exploitative. As a reader, I appreciate female protagonists, but as a comics reader it's hard to find authentic women characters. Let's face it, She-Hulk, Cat Woman, even Wonder Woman (who was originally created as a positive role model for young girls by a psychologist) are all pretty much soft-core porn for 10-14 year old boys. Moore isn't shamelessly preoccupied with bodies like say, Frank Cho's 'Liberty Meadows' comic strip.

As a matter of fact, I was convinced that Terry Moore was a woman, until I visited his website. Turns out, he's not gay either. Come to think of it, he's not between the ages of 14 and 30. He's not even single. All of these facts are amazing because he knows his characters, he seems to understand them, and have an uncanny empathy for them. That's what I appreciate most about Strangers in Paradise, that the characters are so genuine- authentic, real, honest, human, multidimensional, etc. etc.

I can't praise him enough for this. As a junior high and high school teacher, I'd like to think I've observed enough adolescents to be considered a credible witness to how realistic Moore makes his young characters and their constant, neurotic inner-conflicts.

It's a shame that Moore will no longer be producing new issues of SIB. It's a shame there aren't more comics like it, standing out among all of the typical overly commercialized, weird, violent, and formulaic stuff. It would also be a huge shame if all the straight readers were scared off by the understandably loyal LGBT following SIB built up over the last two decades.

If you're a true comics aficionado, you really owe it to yourself to give SIB a try. If you never thought of yourself as someone who'd enjoy comic books or graphic novels, then you really owe it to yourself to give SIB a look, it will really show you what a remarkable genre visual/graphic, sequential, story telling can be!

Being a superhero sucks, but this book doesn't

2010-07-21T21:21:00.000-05:00

Daredevil Vol. 7: Hardcore by Brian Michael Bendis

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

You can have your Frank Miller. For my money Bendis and Maleev are the best team in the comics biz. These guys know how to pull you into a story and keep the story moving in an unique, stylish manner.

This is not your typical comic book superhero thing with weird powers, costumes and mutants or people from other planets. This graphic novel is gritty, dark and plausible.

Matt Murdock struggles with civic responsibility, a blown secret identity, a faltering law practice, an FBI investigation into his activities as a vigilante in Hell's Kitchen in New York AND a new girlfriend- when a psychotic contract killer sets him on fire- announcing the return of his old nemesis, the organized crime boss bent on revenge. Did I mention that Murdock is blind?

View all my reviews

Funnies Aficionado

2010-06-30T08:33:00.003-05:00

Guy and rOdd are Gary Larson reincarnated. Larson was so genius, it took two souls to replace him.

http://www.guyandrodd.com

Funnies Aficionado

2010-06-29T02:56:00.001-05:00

(originally posted Feb. 2008- before I came up with the "Funnies Aficionado" feature)

I told myself that I would use this blog just for my own cartoons and not post things by other people- but holy crap, I stumbled on this guy's website http://www.savagechickens.com and he is HILARIOUS! I am SO incredibly jealous of how funny, creative, and free from convention he is. I have no idea if he's actually managing to make a living off of this stuff, or if he still has a "day job," but I just think he's the funniest cartoonist since Bill Waterson and the weirdest since Gary Larson. Apparently, like Scott Adams, he was working in the cubicle jungle and just up and decided that cartooning was a better lifestyle. So he started drawing chickens on PostIt Notes!

Funnies Aficionado

2010-06-28T08:20:00.019-05:00

Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt really scares me. Most days I think Burritt has the most rapier wit and it is high time something as raw, sharp and unapologetic made it to the comics page. Other days I don't get her. And every once in a while I react the same way I do about South Park and Family Guy- "How does someone get away with that crap?!!"

I'm also one of a few people who believes that collage/montage should be an accepted and respected means of cartooning (you'll notice I do it alot myself). Whether it's New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis or Montey Python cartoons by Terry Gilliam- I say if you have a sense of humor, a sense of irony, and a sense of design- then juxtaposition away.

We need more cartoonists who are willing to challenge our sense of aesthetics and our cultural taboos.

http://www.gocomics.com/frogapplause

Funnies Aficionado

2010-06-27T08:04:00.029-05:00

"Scary Gary" by Mark Buford debuted in 2008. This is one of those strips that kind of makes you say "who THINKS of this stuff?" Gary is a frumpy middle aged, over weight vampire who moved to the suburbs. Gary has a demon henchman who resents their middle-class lifestyle and gay Frankenstein-monster neighbors, Frank and Steve.

Buford has a quirky drawing style that reminds me a little of Gary Hart and Gary Larson, yet it's absolutely uniquely Buford's. His humor is sometimes corny, sometimes macabre, and always crisp and quick. He's a cross between Charles Addams and Seinfeld. This is really one of my favorite comic strips out there- in fact, it's one of the reasons I wanted to start this "Funnies Aficionado" feature on this blog.

Scary Gary deserves to be a huge hit. Of course, I'm an overweight, middle aged, middle class white guy with a mortgage and a minivan, who was once a dark brooding Art major type in college so I would, wouldn't I?

http://www.creators.com/news/51.html

http://comics.com/scary_gary

Funnies Aficionado

2010-06-26T20:02:00.000-05:00

Haven't done a very good job of drawing & posting new cartoons, or even of collaging or montaging either. I had an Art professor in college who said that artists were more prolific when they weren't on an even keel, giving credence to old maxim, "what garlic is to salad, insanity is to art."

Not to make excuses, but it's a good thing if I'm happy, contented, or well adjusted enough to not NEED to cartoon, that's a good thing. I've pretty well resigned myself to the idea that I'll never be a rich, famous, full-time professional cartoonist. Which is just as well, because I enjoy teaching and parenting and because very few professional cartoonists are full-time, let alone rich or famous.

But what to do with this blog? Just leave it to acquire dust and cobwebs? Nah. I'm a life long cartoon aficionado, so why not share my love of the funnies with others?

Here's the first of my amateur reviews of some of my favorite cartoons and cartoonists.

I only recently became acquainted with 'Cul de Sac' by Richard Thompson and I'm already in love. Thompson has been an illustrator for the Washington Post years before he launched Cul de Sac in 2006. This year he'a a Ruben Award nominee and rightfully so.

His drawing style has a freedom and loose spontaneous feeling like Edward Koren and Jules Fieffer, yet his staging is as sophisticated and immersive as Bill Watterson's. His writing is as whimsical and thoughtful as Bill Watterson's too. Yet the spirit of the strip is as light and gentle as Charles Schultz or Patrick McDonnell.

In short, the cartoon gods have endowed Thompson with all the magic at their disposal. It would be easy for me to become resentful lie Antonio Salieri was of Mozart in Amadeus, if his comic strip wasn't so intoxicating.

I hope to be following little Alice Otterloop and her family and classmates at Blisshaven Preschool for years to come.

http://www.gocomics.com/culdesac

http://richardspooralmanac.blogspot.com

Ellen at 8

2010-06-24T20:44:00.000-05:00

Here's a cartoon of a "pop star" by my dauther Ellie.

The LOOK

2010-05-24T15:47:00.003-05:00

I drew this along with the assignment I gave to 7th graders. Students keep asking me "why does it look evil?" That's probably a good sign, the fact that they're asking must mean that I don't actually look this crabby all the time.

We're all from somewhere else

2010-05-09T15:06:00.000-05:00

Can't wait to see Russell Crow in the role

2010-05-04T20:58:00.000-05:00

Too "liberal" for the tea baggers?

2010-04-11T20:37:00.000-05:00

Brain-health Benediction

2010-04-01T20:22:00.002-05:00

This may show what a geek I am, but these are actually things that I do often pray for my children- just not so they can hear me, I tend to stick to the Aaronic blessing from Numbers 6:24 like every other Lutheran. And I do pray to Jesus, not just some vague higher-power. But I still think this is funny. Apologies to Rockwell, of course.

Star-crossed lovers...

2010-04-01T12:30:00.001-05:00

Apologies to Hopper, special thanks to cognitive linguist George Lakoff for his studies on the "Strict Father" vs. "Nurturant-Parent" synaptic frames. In pop-cultural vernacular; "It would never work, I watch Oprah, whereas you listen to too much Doctor Dobson." Theologically; I'm more of a Sadducee, you're too much of a Pharisee. See, this is why I've never gotten anywhere as a cartoonist, I'm WAY too esoteric. That and I steal famous artist's paintings and stick captions on them instead of drawing my own funny picture.

Happy St. Pat's

2010-03-17T08:24:00.000-05:00

RNC document mocks donors, plays on 'fear'

2010-03-05T11:32:00.003-06:00

This story shouldn't surpirse us, I've been accusing the GOP of capitalizing on our fears for a long time. This story deserved a cartoon so much, I made one in English AND one in Spanish too.

RNC document mocks donors, plays on 'fear'
The Republican National Committee plans to raise money this election cycle through an aggressive campaign capitalizing on “fear” of President Barack Obama and a promise to "save the country from trending toward socialism."

The strategy was detailed in a confidential party fundraising presentation, obtained by POLITICO, which also outlines how “ego-driven” wealthy donors can be tapped with offers of access and “tchochkes.”

The presentation was delivered by RNC Finance Director Rob Bickhart to top donors and fundraisers at a party retreat in Boca Grande, Florida on February 18, a source at the gathering said.

Purple Dog

2010-03-03T14:38:00.000-06:00

I think I've finished up. It may or may not seem a little "cartoony," but that's okay, after all it's a school mascot costume for cripe's sake! If anything, I think it really has a Wayne Thiebaud Pop-Art feel to it, which is what I was going for. Thiebaud is one of my favorite painters and I've always wanted to do something like he would. Thiebaud was born in Arizona, like me, only 50 years before me. Unlike Roy Lichtenstein, Thiebaud actually started out as a cartoonist, working for Disney for a while.

The Pop-Art thing is perfect because it should be upbeat and fun, and the decorating style of the recipient is pretty clean and contemporary. Kenny was mascot both at Boyer Valley (purple), where I coach cheerleading, and at Concordia University in Nebraska (blue). Both schools are the Bulldogs. My only hope is that a bright purple painting doesn't clash too much with whatever neutrals and earth tones Kenny used for his home. But then again it's a gift, he can hang it in his john or in his basement where no one else will see it if he wants to. I am seriously considering the poster thing. If not for a fundraiser, at least so that I can give the same image as a gift to a few other people- not to mention being able to keep a copy for myself- maybe in my classroom. NOW the only problem is waiting for it to dry, since it's in oil.

The "V-word"

2010-02-03T13:10:00.000-06:00

Bill Keane likes to have "Little Billy" sub for him every now and then for Family Circus.Thought I'd post something by one of my kids, since I'm in kind of a dry spell anyway. This morning my 8 year old presented me with this drawing of her mother and I. She said that I'm holding a rose in my hand, but that all of her classmates thought it was a pitch-fork. So long as my wife doesn't see me as the Devil.

Oil Pastel Painting

2010-01-28T14:37:00.000-06:00

January Blues

2010-01-20T16:29:00.000-06:00

This is actually from a couple of years ago but for whatever reason I never got this on here, so here it is!

Tragedy

2010-01-14T22:47:00.000-06:00

I want Death to be saying something along the lines of "They say the Caribbean is nice this time of year..." This is what babelfish.yahoo.com came up with- "el Caribe es agradable este vez del año"

Is that pretty close? Anyone more fluent than me want to correct me? It's probably way too early to be posting this. I really should get it right before presenting it to the world, let alone submitting it to my editor. What can I say? I have Attention Deficit Disorder so bad that I need this instant gratification.

THey can't stop us...

2010-01-12T15:39:00.000-06:00

Jake and Elwood Black Bear, the 'Bears Brothers.'

Okay, it's cheesy, but it's what I came up with for this year's Camp Okaboji buttons. Of course, they haven't been officially approved yet, but I hope they will. I think they're really cool.

Shocking Revelation!

2010-01-12T11:16:00.003-06:00

This is a life?

2010-01-06T13:19:00.002-06:00

Lighten up, Lutherans

2009-12-21T14:29:00.000-06:00

I've never seen a happy or friendly looking portrait of Martin Luther. But if you've read much Luther, you realize what a great sense of humor he had. My wife and I wanted to make something for our pastor for Christmas this year. As much as I thought that he'd appreciate one of those "suffer the little children to come unto me" pictures of Jesus- I just couldn't bring myself to do it, they're SO many of them. And I don't know whether I could capture either Jesus or a bunch of children successfully. I'm not saying that they should re-make the 2003 movie "Luther" and replace Joseph Fiennes with Jack Black in the role of Luther or anything, but I don't see why he can't be portrayed as a jovial and approachable paternal or even grandfatherly type. Why must he always be so stern and sober?

"You have as much laughter as you have faith" ~Martin Luther

"If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there." ~Martin Luther

"The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to Scripture, is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn." ~Martin Luther

Mal•Adjusted

2009-12-15T14:35:00.000-06:00

Woof!

Mal•Adjusted

2009-12-15T13:34:00.000-06:00

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb

2009-12-15T11:22:00.001-06:00

Seems like it's been a long time since I posted anything here. I really need to try to do some cartooning. Seems like between school and family and the holidays, there's just always something more important or more urgent or both. Or maybe I've been more on an even keep emotionally/psychologically so I haven't felt the need to do this as an outlet? Wouldn't THAT be nice, to be so well adjusted that I'm not repressed in any way shape or form, therefore I don't have the urge to express myself through cartoons or collages? Yeah right, I'm WAAAY to neurotic for that to ever happen. I think I've just been too busy.

"...intrinsically and ultimately man, Occidental man at least, is permanently subject to the dictate of values which he must realize creatively. This is not to say that he cannot intoxicate himself in his own creativity, that he cannot use creativity to drown his sense of obligation." ~Viktor Frankl

In other words, we all think we have to do what we're supposed to do all the time and sometimes we just want an escape or at least to blow off a little steam. Other people drink or smoke dope, I blog or cartoon, and I keep trying to cut back, but I have this tendency to fall off the wagon every now and then. Well, if you're going to self-medicate, cartooning and collage are a lot cheaper than booze. But I don't recommend driving while using Photoshop.

You are what you listen to

2009-11-09T10:22:00.005-06:00

The editor of La Prensa asked me to try coming up with some cartoons targeted at youth issues.

So this is my first stab at that.

I asked a Mexican businessman in Miami, a Puerto Rican graphic designer in Chicago, and our school's Spanish teacher for help with my translation.

Miami gave me the top version, the Spanish teacher just gave me some tweaks for this bottom version, and Chicago thought I had hit it right on the first time. I don't know if she'll use either, let alone which one- (editors are always too busy to anwer their email,) but I like them well enough to go ahead and post them here.

Here's, roughly, the English translation:

"Hey Kids! I've got everything you want-
Heavy metal with anger, hate, and violence
Gansta rap with sex, drugs, violence, and greed
And of course Mexican border drug smuggler ballads with drugs, guns, violence, and accordions!"

Who doesn't love accordians?

Here in Western Iowa, a lot of the farmers listen to "Polka Party" on the AM radio at Noon. Funny story, once we were driving home to Phoenix from Iowa for Christmas. We were somewhere West of Gallup on I-40 (near old 66) and my farmer-in-law found a station playing some great accordion & "oompa" music.

When the song ended, neither of us could understand what the DJ was saying. I couldn't even make out any Spanish. Turns out it was Tejano (Mexican border) music (not German Polka), but it was being played on the Navajo Nation (reservation) radio station.

Just goes to show you that accordians know no borders.

Mad as a hatter

2009-11-04T13:18:00.003-06:00

These are three of Glenn Beck's actual quotes. What a nut! And he loves to throw "tea-parties."

"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
— The Mad Hatter"
— Lewis Carroll (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass)

Paradoxical

2009-11-03T09:04:00.000-06:00

Just dumb idea that came to me

2009-10-31T15:57:00.001-05:00

be sure to wear it with a bandanna, stocking cap, feed, seed or trucker cap.

Historieta Política

2009-10-28T14:06:00.005-05:00

¡Viva Posada!

I've been on the phone with the editor of La Prensa, Iowa the Spanish language newspaper. They publish in, Carroll, Storm Lake, Spencer, Perry, Ames, and Des Moines. If she likes my calaveras cartoon, this could be a bigger market than the Mapleton PRESS was. Of course, I barely know much "Spanglish," so I'll need her help translating, but that may force me to use far fewer words so that the images carry the joke. Who knows. We'll see how this goes.

This one has been corrected for better Spanish.

Here is the English:
The Mexican skeleton asks, "We're all the same under the skin, right Mr. King?"
Rep. Steve King replies, "Get away from me with your drugs and diseases!* We should've kept you out with electric fences like cattle!"

*April 27, 2006, the Des Moines Register published an op-ed piece by Steve King regarding the planned May 1 "Day Without an Immigrant" rallies.

King said "(without immigrants) Our hospital emergency rooms would not be flooded with everything from gunshot wounds, to anchor babies, to imported diseases to hangnails..."

Happy Editorial Cartoonist's Day y Feliz Dia de los Muertos.

Don't mind me

2009-10-27T12:51:00.002-05:00

I was teaching 7th graders about complimentary colors and how they can both contrast and neutralize. Thus an oil pastel self portrait. I think I kind of look a little like David Alfaro Siqueiros- but I have been researching Mexican art for a special Dia de los Muertos lesson this week.

Happy Holidays

2009-10-22T14:47:00.003-05:00

Maybe they're macabre, or secretly in league with the Devil, maybe they're all huge fans of "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown," maybe it has something to do with Mexican revolutionary editorial cartoonist José Guadalupe Posada who's famous skeletons of rich dandies make Ddia de los muertos so much fun- whatever the reason, this great American combination of cynicism, satire and silly pictures should be celebrated and remembered on Oct. 31 each year.

I suggest writing your local newspaper editor and demanding that they hire one. If they have one, write them and demand that they keep him/her. Perhaps write a letter to an editorial cartoonist and let them know that you enjoy and appreciate what they do- even when you disagree with them. The best thing you can do is to send them a card or some cookies!

Seeing as these days, everyone with a keyboard thinks of themselves as a reporter and everyone with a cell phone thinks of themselves as a photojournalist- what the hell, if you have a scanner, why not try some political cartooning for yourself?

Not sure you're up for it? Whatever, the very LEAST you can do is to buy a newspaper just for the editorial cartoons. Maybe clip one out that you like a post it on your door/cubical/bulletin board/fridge. If nothing else, you may as well explore some great editorial/political cartoons. Use these links to help you find some.

Editorial Cartooning

Ted's Political Cartoons

Mal•Adjusted; Happy Holiday!

2009-10-19T01:45:00.001-05:00

October Surprise

2009-10-14T13:14:00.000-05:00

I think I'm about finally to a point where I don't really miss writing a weekly column. But if YOU still miss reading my weekly column- HERE ARE SOME HALLOWEEN RE-RUNS from years gone by, Halloween, Reformation and Dia de Los Muertes columns, some spooky pictures, and even some surreal Lutheran images!

Have fun but 'don't eat so much candy that you go into a diabetic coma!

Happy Holiday!

2009-10-03T01:26:00.000-05:00

Most of our problem

2009-09-30T16:12:00.001-05:00

Exterminate!

2009-09-30T15:56:00.000-05:00

More fun with Dr. Who's Daleks.

Hurricaine Love

2009-09-30T11:34:00.003-05:00

Here at looong last, is the latest Mayor Gonzo cartoon, illustrating one of the wild stories by West Florida's own gonzo journalist and honorable mayor of Key West- Sammie Mays. With any luck, these will show up in a book by her one of these days. Look for it at an Amazon.com near you.

New PhotoBucket Account

2009-09-24T16:17:00.001-05:00

See all my Cartoons at once, organized in to handy albums at Photobucket!

You Bet Your Life

2009-09-18T15:26:00.001-05:00

Teaching my 7th graders about pointillism. About as much fun as you can have with a Crayola Washable Marker without having to take a shower.

Just for the fun of it

2009-09-13T21:25:00.004-05:00

Only true Dr. Who geeks will get this one, but I thought it was funny when the idea came to me. Feel free to share (if you actually know someone who's even familiar with this British sci-fi.

I have no idea what it means, just having fun with words and images. Contrary to what some right-wingers may think of me, Che is not a hero of mine, on the other hand, I really haven't researched him enough to feel the need to make fun of him specifically- I'm just having fun with a pop-icon. Pretty sure someone's already blended the Che poster with something from Planet of the Apes. Whatever. Just messing around.

Buffalo Buzz

2009-08-22T14:11:00.001-05:00

Lies (and the lying liars who tell them)

2009-08-18T08:45:00.003-05:00

lies- canned lies - talking points - inflammatory lies - distortions - mischaracterizations - propaganda - genuflection to the base -more lies - horror stories -misrepresentations -towing the party line -little white lies - fear mongering -hyperbole -

Ya know, I used to kinda like Chuck Grassley. He's always been a sightly more reasonable than Congressman Steve King, but Geez- he's just gone off the rails with this one.

Happy Holidays

2009-08-01T14:13:00.003-05:00

"I love sweet corn. It truly is better than sex! I'm not lying! All across the Midwest tonight, a husband and wife will finish what husbands and wives do, and the wife will ask the husband: 'How was that?' And, if the man is honest, he'll say 'Well, it wasn't sweet corn, but it was nice.' It's a fact! Sweet corn is better than sex!...fresh sweet corn!...Store bought sweet corn, yes, sex is definitely better than that!" -Garrison Keillor

Okay, seriously, mustard and corn are two great tastes that do not taste great together. Save the mustard for the brats, but I have to tell you, I live in Iowa and this week the sweet corn is just coming on. Only home grown tomatoes can compare. If you don't "get" the humor of Garrison Keillor's quote, then either you are the world's greatest lover or you have obviously never had fresh Iowa sweet corn direct from the farm. MMMMMMmmm, ecstasy.

Facebook, Blogger, same WWWeb. This was hard to execute because I can't get my scanner to work. I had to shoot the drawing with a digital camera and then upload it. Happy WWWeb Day

Baaaa

2009-07-30T08:37:00.000-05:00

Me, as a pop icon

2009-07-23T10:26:00.002-05:00

Who's hungry? Actually, my kids think I'm the best chef ever, but how many ways can you prepare hot dogs, mac and cheese, or frozen pizza?

Me, as a pop icon

2009-07-23T10:26:00.000-05:00

Who's hungry?

Aw shucks

2009-07-15T14:12:00.000-05:00

It must have been a couple of years ago that I first accidentally ran accross some picture of Hitler that seemed banal, mundane, even downright charming. I knew it had to have been a bit of NAZI propaganda, but I just knew it was like the mother lode of irony- yet it lay fallow for all that time until now. All of a sudden I can't stop. Though I must say, if you do a Google search for "Hitler, sweet, friendly" you come up with some disturbing stuff. There are a lot of white supremacists and neoNAZIs out there who post these pictures without an ounce of irony and are proud as can be of their amazing leader. THAT gives me shivers. Let us all pray and remember and remind others so that it will never happen again.

What a great guy!

2009-07-14T15:43:00.003-05:00

Once again, the initial point of this series is to highlight the way we sometimes blindly follow and loyally defend public figures without carefully scrutinizing all of their positions on all of the issues. There are figures whom I have criticized as a writer and cartoonist, such as Congressman Steve King and Governor Sarah Palin whom people vehemently protected as if they were family members. The same people, sometimes in the same breath would attack me for being pro-abortion. I am not pro-abortion, however, it's not the only political or moral issue out there and I believe that it is used callously as a politically expedient campaign tool. New reveal that the ultimate conservative, Richard Nixon actually advocated aborting the children of interracial couples.

Deep Thoughts

2009-07-14T14:21:00.002-05:00

Please don't send hate mail if your a Buddhist. I'm not trying to make fun of Buddhism of de-legitimize his amazing teaching in this quote. It ought to be obvious that the juxtaposition of a pacifist, pious philosophy with evil is supposed to, uh, um, it's supposed to uh, well, I don't know what it's supposed to do. I guess I thought it was funny when I started it, but I think by trying to explain, defend, or analyze it I've pretty much ruined whatever effect I might have been after.
Never mind.

Quiet time

2009-07-14T13:38:00.001-05:00

So loveable and adorable

2009-07-13T08:30:00.003-05:00

*Let me clarify- I am not equating and never DIRECTLY compared Congressman Steve King or former President Gorge W. Bush to Adolf Hitler. The point of this series is to highlight our tendency not to scrutinize some public figures if we somehow identify with them or find them charismatic. It could be a teacher, a leader, a therapist, a celebrity, athlete, clergy or political leader- it doesn't have to be Bush or King, we're often taken in and should always maintain a healthy level of cynicism. Now, I'll admit that I do think that some of King's statements lean toward racist and his politics lean toward corporatism (if not fascism) and Bush's grandfather was a financial supporter of the NAZIs running up to WWII, but seriously, I have not yet and am not now comparing either of them to the great scourge of the 20th century. But if I were (and I'm not) hyperbole is the birthright of satire, so as egregious as such comparisons might be, I think I'd still be within my rights as a smart assed trouble-maker.

No, no, forget that's not true. Egregious is egregious. No one is as evil as Hitler was and no one deserves to be demonized that much. People must be REALLY paranoid to compare Obama to Hitler and it's just as unfair, irresponsible and outrageous to compare Bush to Hitler too. So again, I promise that I'm NOT trying to compare anyone to anyone. Just trying to be funny and make people think by using irony. Cheap, overly simple, unfairly easy irony, but irony none the less.

On a lighter note, the momentum has taken over so that these are just starting to be funny now rather than a therapeutic means to work through personal angst. I think this one is particularly silly. Of course it's not true, although Disney's fifth major animated feature Bambi did come out in 1942 and it was based on a book by an Austrian author.

Who'd you rather have a beer with?

2009-07-12T04:28:00.005-05:00

*This one was inspired by an article in USA Today back in 2004. Satirists shouldn't patronize their readers by spelling things out for them, but if you haven't caught on yet, the point of this series is that sometimes we're really taken in by how populist politicians try to be.

For example- I may see my Congressman (Steve King) as an egocentric, xenophobic, bigoted demagogue (based on his public statements, voting record and behavior) but plenty of good people just see him as "good people," partly because he's warm and friendly and partly because he's as "pro-life" as he can be to get having to kill a doctor at his church somewhere in Kansas.

Mind you, I'm not pro-abortion either, but some people don't think you should speak out about corruption, hypocrisy, economics, health care, civil rights, the environment, violations of the Constitution, or unjust wars unless you are as absolutely over the top zealous about eliminating all abortion as they are. But that's a different ax for me to try to grind another time in a different cartoon, collage, or image. Just had to get it out of my system.

A very nice guy who likes people

2009-07-11T16:20:00.005-05:00

*Actually, this series of Hitler as a lovable guy was originally inspired by something someone said on facebook about Iowa Congressman Steve King, they had babysat his kids for him when they were younger and thought he was a really sweet guy. This particular installment is really about George W. Bush from an August 2005 column for Solon.com by David Brooks.

One of us

2009-07-10T15:46:00.000-05:00

What a great guy!

2009-07-09T15:32:00.000-05:00

Lame duck or dead fish?

2009-07-06T16:03:00.001-05:00

Come on all you Caribou Barbie fans, let me have it. I know that nothing provokes your ire more than my poking fun at the lovely yet often incoherent hockey mom.

If you agree with this cartoon, feel free to download, upload, email, print, post, embed, share, print or whatever you want with this cartoon. It drives me crazy that all I can do is post it on the web and not publish it in some newspaper or have it be distributed by some syndicate. Whatchya gonna do?

I can almost guarantee that- even though I'm no longer published in the Mapleton PRESS- it will receive some angry feedback from friends here in the Western Iowa area and from hard core conservative Christians and fellow Concordia Alumni (thanks to my posting it on facebook).

Why they can't see that you don't have to make anything up or lie about her to make her look bad because she does it herself, I guess I'll never know.

But seriously, do me a favor and send this around or hang it up. If not for the hope of increasing my visibility and therefore marketability, if only to propagate awareness about the idiocy of her nonsensical career! Thank you!

Mal•Adjusted

2009-07-04T00:19:00.002-05:00

In non clinical terms, Bob is a jerk.

Mal•Adjusted

2009-07-03T00:18:00.000-05:00

Total nonsense. But Old Bob Miller's Sarsaparilla made in Mesa Arizona was awesome, it had bite. I think they're out of business now. Sioux City Sarsaparilla is now the predominant maker nationally, but just a little more sweet and a little more smooth than I personally prefer.

Mal•Adjusted

2009-07-02T00:16:00.001-05:00

I've been reading 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.' The narrator isn't MPD exactly, but he's "chasing the ghost" of his former self. It made me think of this. I have a friend who's a psychology professor that asked if he could use some of my cartoons to illustrate lectures. I guess that also fed into this too.

Mal•Adjusted

2009-07-01T12:09:00.000-05:00

Mal•Adjusted

2009-06-30T11:21:00.002-05:00

*from 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' by Robert Pirsig

Mal•Adjusted

2009-06-29T11:19:00.000-05:00

We will burry you

2009-06-28T23:17:00.003-05:00

What a dweeb. He reminds me of Sacha Baron Cohen's character, King Julian the lemur from Madagascar. Feels good to be back in the saddle again- even though this was just for me and not for any newspaper or syndicate. Now I have to get to work on that illustration I promised Mayor Gonzo down in Key West.

Sheep in Wolves's Clothing

2009-05-14T12:35:00.000-05:00

Another Book Report

2009-05-13T10:03:00.002-05:00

Tough Coughs As He Ploughs the Dough: Early Writings and Cartoons by Dr. Seuss

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
An excerpt-

Clearing up a Misunderstanding

Many people believe that the terms "high-brow" and "low-brow" actually have something to do with the human forehead. This is erroneous. What they really refer to is a man's capacity as a brau drinker. In Germany, the gentleman who can down a high brau is accepted as an aristocrat. If you can only absorb a low brau, you are considered a member of an inferior social stratum.

I liked this book so much that I'm thinking of changing my name to "Theophrastus" in honor of the good Doctor.

View all my reviews.

A Book Report

2009-05-07T20:57:00.000-05:00

The Last of the Funnies: A li'l tall tale about America's favorite art form (with Illustrated Appendix). by Mike Cope

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
Anyone else interested, check out their website-

http://lastofthefunnies.com

Pretty funny, but bitter-sweet. Part commentary on the demise of print newspapers and thereby cartooning, with shades of the dehumanizing element of technology- much like 1984 or Fahrenheit 451 but with a lighter tough, with wit and humor a bit like Kurt Vonnegut... plus a touching father/son reconciliation sort of story thrown in. Good stuff!

View all my reviews.

Mal•Adjusted

2009-05-05T09:28:00.002-05:00

Oh Crap! I almost forgot that it's National Cartoonist's Day! Better celebrate. I know, why don't I post 4 cartoons in one morning! Okay, sounds like a plan.

Mal•Adjusted

2009-05-05T09:27:00.000-05:00

Mal•Adjusted

2009-05-05T09:25:00.000-05:00

Charmed, I'm sure

2009-05-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

National Cartoonist Day; May 5

2009-04-29T19:25:00.004-05:00

Remember, May 5 is National Cartoonist Day.

Tell ya what, instead of cards or gifts, just do me a huge HUGE favor and invite people to http://tedstoons.blogspot.com and/or to my mal•toons Facebook group. Encourage them to leave comments and to share it with others.

Okay, okay, TWO huge favors- why not download you favorite of my cartoons and attach it in an email and send it to somebody.

Do those two things between now and May 5 and the cartoon fairy will visit you with good luck. Okay, not really, but if you go to a comic book store,(on May 5) they'll probably give you at no charge to you, a free comic book.

Of course, if you write your local newspaper and tell them that both comics and editorial cartoons are important to you as a subscriber, then the cartoon fairy really will visit you with prosperity and good luck.

Okay, I'm kidding about the prosperity thing, there's only so much that these holiday fairies can do. What do you think they are anyway, magic?

How about this? April 30 is "Poem in your pocket day," why not cut out your favorite cartoon (mine or anybody else's ) and carry it around in your pocket for good luck on May 5?

Okay, I can't promise you good luck, talk to God about that one. But do me a favor, tell somebody about how May 5 is National Cartoonist's Day, will ya? Even most professional cartoonists have pretty much given up on it and I'm really trying to bring it back. Okay?

Thanks!

The return of Mayor Gonz

2009-04-28T12:04:00.007-05:00

Mayor Gonzo's publicist insisted that her trademark stogie and hat be present in every representation of her. So... above is the updated version of this cartoon, but below is the original.
Here's a cartoon that commemorates that fateful day when former tabloid journalist and current honorable Mayor of Key West, Florida, Sammie "Gonzo" Mays actually broke INTO prison to get a picture of defamed Cincinnati Red. To learn more about Gonzo Girl, visit her website in the Conch Republic- http://saminthekeys.com

Whew! 3 in one day. I'm feeling really prolific. Actually I drew the Mal•Adjusted last night at my daughter's piano lesson. Not likely that I'll draw this many cartoons all in one day for a long time. All three of my morning classes are mid-project, had several kids absent and didn't need much help. But this was fun. If someone paid me $40K a year or more for it, I could get used to drawing funny pictures all day, and not just for an hour and a half in 15 minute spurts, in between helping kids, during morning.

Mal•Adjusted

2009-04-28T09:58:00.001-05:00

Save me, I'm becoming hopelessly esoteric!

Meet Jon Doe

2009-04-28T09:27:00.003-05:00

Here's another Facebook Portrait- this one for a former student who's in the music industry in LA. Of course, he asked for this like... MONTHS ago and I'm just now getting around to it. Gigi (that last client) had dozens of old profile pictures to choose from, Jon only had one, not that I'm making excuses.

Freelancing

2009-04-27T16:01:00.004-05:00

Here are a couple of cartoon illustrations that I did today.

This one (above) is for a designer in Delaware. She was a regular reader of my Pirate blog and recently asked if I'd consider doing a caricature of her that she could use for her Facebook profile picture. Below is a revamp of one I'd done for Camp Okoboji, Lutheran Summer Camps her in Iowa.