Thursday, May 29, 2008

Goebbels says he believed in Bush as war started

WASHINGTON (AP) — Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan says he didn't object to the way the war in Iraq was sold to the American people at the time because he, like other Americans, gave the president the benefit of the doubt.

McClellan says in his new memoir that he came to realize that the war was sold with propaganda that inflated the threat posed by Saddam Hussein. He says administration officials didn't deliberately lie — but they became wrapped up in trying to shape the story to their advantage, and ignored intelligence that didn't fit the picture.

Note- I guess I haven't decided yet whether to use this for the June 6 Mapleton PRESS. Anytime you employ the NAZIs you're being heavy handed, but then again, cartoons are nothing if they're not hyperbolic. But of course, little Scotty McClellen was never as powerful as Josef Goebbels. Most people might think Karl Rove was more like Goebbels. Although Himmler has Roves round face and hairline. Whatever.

Anyway, raving reactionary that I am- I just couldn't let this bit of current events go unreacted to. I wonder what Indiana Jones would've thought of our current administration and the Iraq war. I wonder how many artifacts were lost that could've been in a museum. How could an archaeologist discover lost emails?

OOPS!- The first time I put this together, there was a gross historical inaccuracy in my analogy. Rove would be more like Himmler- mastermind of the Holocaust, whereas Goebbels was in charge of propaganda, more along the lines of a Press Secretary. Shoot- that's what being reactionary gets you, bad aim. My History professors would be ashamed. Sorry Dr. Fiala. Guess I'll try something else this week. Still, you gotta admit that it looks pretty cool!

At least, I hope that you dear readers, appreciate the transparency with which I let you in on my creative process.

Trivia tid-bits- Himmler committed suicide after turning himself over British forces this week in 1945!
Goebbels remained with Hitler till the bitter end where he killed his wife and family before committing suicide in Hitler's bunker. Whereas Scotty McClellen is cashing in an a 7-figure book deal. But at least if we're lucky, it will help get Rove or Cheney prosecuted for something eventually.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The nut doesn't fall far from the family tree

Cartoon for May 29, 08 Mapleton PRESS

You'll have to click on this one to be able to read the captions under the elders, but I promise, it's worth it.

Once again, I'm posting on the day I get done, rather than the publication day, and once again, I'm hopelessly out dated. But doggone it, like Indiana Jones, I hate NAZIs almost as much as I hate hypocrites.

From April 1944 on, the American Air Force could have destroyed the camp with air raids, as well as the railway bridges and railway lines from Hungary to Auschwitz. The murder of about 400,000 Hungarian Holocaust victims could have been prevented.

A January 22 1944 executive order signed by President Franklin Roosevelt calling on the government to take all measures to rescue the European Jews. That order was ignored because of pressure brought by a group of big American companies, including BBH, where Prescott Bush was a director.

Some legacy. But by God, he's a "born-again-Christian" who's opposed to abortion and gay marriage. More guys like him and maybe we can get prayer back in public schools and evolution out of them!

When will Christian voters get a clue. Republicans are about money and eliminating the middle-class, they only SAY they're for those socially conservative, traditional, "family values" issues to get your vote. Really, they're about money and power for themselves and their cronies.

I bet we make Jesus cry. One of my favorite bumper stickers is "Drive Republicans crazy, live like Jesus."

Okay, okay, I'll shut up. Cartoonists are supposed to be funny, not preachy. Besides, the more I write about it, the more I look like some kind of conspiracy theorist crank. But I still can't believe that he had the gall to say what he did, on foreign soil, when he's not running for re-election, in front of the Israeli parliament on the anniversary of the Jewish state- especially with his family's background!

Sigh. I only wish more Americans had noticed or given a rip.
"I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments" ~Exodus 20:5-6

Cartoon for May 22, 08 Mapleton PRESS

Lately I've been wishing this was my real job and I had to do it daily instead of weekly- not so much because it was my dream when I was a kid, but lately because there's so much to draw about. My readers in rural western Iowa care about the Farm Bill, but come on, George W. Bush, grandson of Prescott Bush (NAZI sympathizer) standing in the Knesset itself, comparing Obama to Neville Chamberlain! That's PRICELESS! Last week Hillary Clinton was on Bill O'Reilly! Ron Paul was on NPR. McCain talking about getting out of Iraq by 2013. You can't get any more surreal than this year.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Great Quote

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia"
~Charles M. Schultz

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Mac and Steve

I suppose I should've drew Hillary on O'Rielly, but that just seemed too surreal to me.

Saturday, May 3, 2008


Happy Cartoonists Day, May 3, 2008!

Fun-loving people everywhere are also urged to enjoy CARTOONISTS DAY and CARTOONIST APPRECIATION WEEK May 3-10.

May 5 has been designated as CARTOONISTS DAY because the first comic strip, The Yellow Kid, appeared a newspaper on May 5, 1895.

CARTOON APPRECIATION WEEK offers a chance to recognize the positive influence and laughs this art form has provided for so many years in films, books, newspapers, magazines, comic books, and commercial art.

Have you hugged a cartoonist today? How about a gift? Maybe a card with some money in it? Cookies? Anything? Anything at all?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Obscure holiday leaving you a basket case?

As I understand it, the tradition used to be that the May basket was supposed to be left on someone's doorstep. When you ring the doorbell, you are supposed to run away. Where I grew up, that’s not what kids left on your doorstep when they rang the bell and ran away.

What I remember about May 1 were scenes on the evening news of the Russians holding big parades where tanks rolled by and the red army marched past a bunch of really old men from the Kremlin. It looked like it was their 4th of July or something. Growing up in the cold war, that certainly didn’t seem like a holiday that any red (er, uh, red, white, and blue) blooded American kid would want to be a part of.

The truth of the matter is, May Day is an American invention. It’s supposed to be about the little guy, the blue collar, working class regular Joe who puts in his 8, 10, or 14 hour day trying to make a decent living for his family. But like so many things that began here, May Day has become an international celebration. And like a lot of things, Americans decided that we couldn’t like it if Europeans did.

Back on May 4, 1886 there was a rally in the Haymarket of Chicago. Workers were protesting low wages and unfair treatment. They wanted the right to organize unions that would be able to bargain collectively, on behalf of employees, with business owners and management.

Someone threw a bomb at the cops who were trying to disperse the crowd and things got out of hand. No one really knows who actually threw it, but eight agitators were arrested and tried for the murders. Four were put to death, and one committed suicide in prison. Five of the eight were German immigrants. Their sentencing set off a huge growth in unions in Europe. And concern for how America treats it’s immigrants.

Okay, okay. May Day isn’t really all that American. Germans and Scandinavians celebrated it long before Christianity came to Europe. May first is the day, according to legend that the Tunic god Oden (the Norse knew him as Thor) died in order to discover some secret magic power from some people called the Runes or something. Europeans celebrated by lighting bonfires, going on runs, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and dancing around poles. American college students do the same thing only they call it Spring Break.

Neo-Pagans have been trying to bring it back. They call the holiday “Walpurgisnacht,” probably another reason it doesn’t get celebrated her in the states. Can you imagine wishing people “Merry Walpurgisnacht?” Happy Walpurgisnacht. have you made any resolutions for Walpurgisnacht? What are you doing Walpurgisnacht Eve?

As much as I admire the working man, I’m not much for celebrating pagan holidays, so once again (remember February) I would like to offer readers an alternative (if somewhat obscure and esoteric) holiday for the first week in May. Cartoonist Appreciation Week, May 3-10.

National Cartoonist Day is every year on May 5. The very first comic strip, The Yellow Kid, appeared in a newspaper on May 5, 1895. But this year they decided to have it on May 3. I think because they couldn’t get Congress to make it a federal holiday, nobody can get the Monday off, so cartoonists wanted it on a Friday night so they can party.

A highlight of Cartoonist Appreciation Week is Free Comic Book Day, also May 3. Participating comic book specialty retailers around the world give away free comic books to any unsuspecting kids who make the mistake of entering their stores. Sort of like how drug dealers give you the first hit for free because they know they’re going to get you hooked.

If it’s that important to you to hold on to the old holiday’s connection to labor unions, you might be interested to know that cartoonists have their own union. The National Cartoonists Society is the world's largest organization of professional cartoonists, Founded in 1946, one of their goals is "to stimulate and encourage interest in and acceptance of the art of cartooning by aspiring cartoonists, students and the general public." I’m not a member because I can’t afford the dues. Maybe someday.

If you happen to know a cartoonist, you may want to send them a card or something. Preferably with a generous gratuity inside. Or perhaps you should bake them a pie, or a plate of cookies. Chocolate chip or oatmeal would be nice, but cartoonists don’t usually like raisins very much. Or marshmallows. Cartoonists hate marshmallows.

By the way, the distress call “Mayday, Mayday” has absolutely nothing to do with the first day of May. It comes from the French phrase “venez m'aider,” meaning “come to my aid!” Thought you’d like to know.

'Ted's Column' has appeared weekly in the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper since 2002 and the Schleswig Leader since 2004. In 2007 the Mapleton PRESS, which published both of the smaller paper, "absorbed" both the Leader and the NEWSpaper. But the PRESS is not exactly a major metro daily, it runs once a week and has an official circulation of 2130 with an estimated total readership of around 4260. So if you're ever in Western Iowa, at a gas station on a Thursday, buy a copy, we appreciate your support.

Foreign oil may lead to extinctions

He ACTUALLY said this, in New Orleans of all places!