Winter one-liner

One of my students gave me the idea for this one.

Seasons Greetings

Fear of vermin can be paralyzing

I'm so angry with Reid and Pelosi that I can hardly see straight. Why did they cave in on the omnibus bill like they did? Another $70 billion on the war Bush lied us into. They'd better put impeachment back on the table in the new year or I may re-register to the Green party or at least as an independent or something.

On the other hand, I'm pretty proud of my drawing. Funny frightened donkey, my G.W. Bush is finally coming along... but it is a little weird that last week I used Suess and this week I used Disney- hope I don't get into a rut of using other people's cartoon characters.

Merry Christmas

I actually drew this one for Dec 21, 2006- but since this blog is brand new in Dec. 2007- I thought I'd bring it back out. Don't forget to thank cartoonist Thomas Nast for our all American version of the jolly old elf!

Tens of Thousands of kids will lose insurance coverage. What a Christmas present

Now the bummer here is nobody is paying attention to this issue, so not only is it not in the papers or on TV but it sure's heck won't be when it runs next week (I drew it 12/13). I don't know... There are lots of CIA torture tape cartoons out there this week. Who knows, maybe we'll start bombing Iran by then...

Merry Christmas cartoon fans! ¡Ventiladores de la historieta de la Feliz Navidad! Karikaturventilatoren der frohen Weihnachten! 圣诞快乐动画片风扇! メリークリスマスの漫画は送風する! 즐거운 성탄 만화는 부채로 부친다! Вентиляторы шаржа веселого рождества!

Waiting to serve you

Sorry if I've recently spammed you. Guess I'm a little overly excited about this new blog. If I were actually serious about getting anywhere with this cartooning thing, suppose it would be smarter to spend my time drawing or submitting my stuff to editors- but this blogging is so dang addictive. Anyway, I know I shouldn't spam- I just want to broaden my audience in anyway that I can.

Three that are just weird

My Senator is a saint

Boy, I was racking my brain for an idea this week. Usually I try to get done the Thursday before the cartoon is supposed to run. This one came to me driving home from school Thursday night. But I was panicky because I was too tired and busy with my kids to draw anything that night and I never imagined I'd ever be able to manage it before school since I have hall monitor duty this week. Thank God for small blessings because we had a 2 hour late start for snow.

I was still anxious. I've only drawn Senator Grassley one time before and never thought I could ever replicate it. He has such an amazing face. But I think I pulled it off. I'm afraid I made Creflo Dollar look a little too much like Supreme Court Justice Clarance Thomas, which is too bad because Dollar is a really handsome guy. Benny Hinn usually looks friendlier in real life, but oh well. And frankly, I think I absolutely nailed the Joel Osteen.

Merry Christmas

About this blog

Hello,

My name is Ted, and I'm a Blog-aholic.

I've written a weekly column in out small town newspaper, the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper since 2002. In 2004 I discovers Blogger. It was the perfect place to post and archive those columns.

But I've wanted to be a cartoonist since 5th grade. In 2006, I began adding one a week to my column. This last year the NEWSpaper was absorbed by it's parent paper, the Mapleton PRESS. that meant a bigger audience, but still the "farm-leagues." Someday, I think I might like to make it to the big show. But alas, Editorial cartoonist is a dying profession.

I've used blogs to chronicle my coaching (Cheerleading, believe it or not), to provide resources for my students (Art and Yearbook), and to showcase my photography and painting. I've even used it for rants on religion and politics. But it never dawned on me that I should be using it to "self-publish" my cartoons.

So here we are. I hope you enjoy what you see here. It's new every week. Please post your comments or email me and let me know what you think of my work.

If you're a newspaper or magazine publisher, or better yet, represent a syndicate- please get in touch with me! I know that when your ship hasn't come in, you should swim out to it, but I have a terrible fear of rejection and very little time or money to use on mailing out samples with cover letters.

Like I said, I'm well aware that there are probably fewer than a hundred people in the United States who get to do this for a living. Meanwhile, I'm just glad that thanks to technology, and my friends at the Mapleton PRESS, I can do this for the fun of it.

You can see my humor and politics column in the Mapleton PRESS or at http://tedscolumn.blogspot.com

You can see HUNDREDS of my cartoons all together at http://tmal.multiply.com/photos/album/2


If you're not a publisher or an agent, please feel free to bookmark this site and email all your friends about it. I figure, if independent rock bands and film makers can establish a groundswell of fan support on the web, maybe an independent political cartoonist can too!

You can follow the ups and downs of my (feeble) attempts at taking a hobby and launching it into a career here.

Finally, some actual fighting

Oink

Read a book

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." ~Groucho Marx

Front runners

Maybe the pendulum our Government teachers told us about in high school is finally starting to swing back.

Stop him before he wrecks again

Once again, I was somewhat disappointed with myself for how this turned out. I was sick and feeling pretty miserable this week but didn't want to cannibalize an old cartoon again. It's also a little tender because I know people who've had DUI accidents. Please, don't drink and drive- not even a little. Meanwhile, Bush and Cheney beating the drums of war again really scares me. I've talked to a former student in the Marine Corps and a old college friend in the National Guard and they both have a pretty strong feeling, from their superiors, that this is going to happen, it's only a matter of time. We can help stop it- visit http://www.stopiranwar.com or www.votevets.org
Help retired General, Wes Clark prevent another fiasco.

The lazy babysitter

This one was really complicated. Each flame is a different layer in PhotoShop. I feel like I didn't finish the donkey well enough. Once again I stole from myself- Bush is from an earlier cartoon, although I tweaked his face a little in PhotoShop. It took forever to find a chair that I liked. Daryl Cagle is not just a cartoonist, but a syndicate editor and he complains about aspiring cartoonists who send him works with lots of photos or clipart included. All these things had me feeling pretty bad about this cartoon, but I got an email from a former student who went to Georgetown and now works on K street in DC and she told me tha tshe thought it was so funny that she shared it with a bunch of her friends. Maybe it is the thought that counts after all.

Lutheran Surrealism

This is sort of like Rene Magritte's famous, Tyranny of images, aka "This is not a pipe."

I was surfing the web and stumbled on this blog, http://lutheransurrealism.blogspot.com
By this college professor who's into surrealist poetry and philosophy who became a Lutheran. His mind bending writing inspired me to PhotoShop a few of the great Surrealist paintings (that weren't totally lewd). Just in time for Reformation (October 31) Scary, huh?

See all Eight Surrealist Lutheran Images

Big Dubbya's watching you

1984, New American Century, Mein Kampf, whatever you want to call it.

Special thanks to "John L." of someplace our West for this week's cartoon idea- I'd be more specific, but the NSA and CIA are probably already listening to his phone calls.

If you see things from Dubbya's perspective, you'd also like 'New American Century,' and of course 'Mein Kampf.' Well, no actually you probably prefer burning books to reading them. In hind sight, I think I should've had 'W' say "heckuva game plan." He doesn't use words as big as "ingenious."

If on the other hand, you take the donkey's view, then may I also suggest 'It can't happen here,' by Sinclair Lewis and 'Fahrenheit 451' by Ray Bradbury (not to be confused with 'Fahrenheit 911' by Michael Moore).

If you read this and really take it seriously, you will be bound to become skeptical of any politician- regardless or party or promise. You will treasure and appreciate you rights, freedoms and your relationships. And you just might be a little less comfortable undressing with the TV on. I don't have a web-cam on my computer. Do you?

Read my "Book Report" on 1984

DONG DONG! (just like on Law & Order)

You would not believe how hard Fred Thompson is to draw. I wound up stretching his head out a little in PhotoShop. But man, you gotta admit that his wife is a hottie!
Some politicians are harder to draw than others. Top left; Tried upside down, Top right; Starting with the ear and working from the outside of the head to the inside, Bottom left; Tried doing the old draw an oval with an eye axis and a prime-meridian first... And finally Bottom right; started with an eye and worked from the inside-to the out.

I think I still need to work on a caricature though, and exaggerate either his sleepy eyes or forehead instead of his ears or nose. Truly, he'd make a really good hound dog, maybe a basset hound.

So when I got my drawing into PhotoShop, I did go ahead and "warp" his head a little bit. Over all, I'm pleased with how it turned out.

The Maddness of the King

This is really the cartoon that I wanted to draw LAST week.
Man, I think Steve King can be an idiot. Folks here in Iowa's 5th District sure think he's the bee's knees. Yes, I'm guilty, that is the same Grassley from a Gonzales cartoon I drew months ago, I just flipped him horizontally so no one would notice. He has a HARD face to draw.

See how King got voted first runner-up for Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World"

Guns or butter?

Sept. 29, National Coffee Day!

Super Hero, or super villian?

Mirror, Mirror....

So... 'W' says that Iraq is like Vietnam after all... (in a weird sort of way). Well guess what 'Dub? History repeats it self in all kinds of ways...

I juxtaposed Ronnie and Dick just for the fun of it.

The Colonel

Inspired by a report on where Senator Fred's major support would be coming from. I keep trying to improve my printing, especially because veteran cartoonists, experts and editors (like Daryl Cagle) frown on using actual computer fonts that look like cartoonist printing. But I'm still very self conscious of my penmanship. Maybe I need a bolder pen or even a felt tip marker. I guess it's just like how people hate to hear their voice on recordings. Ick.

NOTE: This cartoon didn't run in the PRESS. I don't know what the issue was, room, time, lost the file, or editorial prerogative- but in hind sight I think it may be a little over the edge. Not because it accuses Southerners of being sexist or racist, or because it uses the word "colored," but because cartoons usually accuse politicians of things, this one accuses you the reader. So if you feel accused of liking Fred Thompson because he's a male, white, protestant, conservative- sorry, but do examine your own heart and remember, "walks like a duck, quacks like a duck..."

Stupidity

I was listening to the radio around Aug 27 and I swear I heard a sound byte of Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley saying something to the effect that "you don't just fire someone for being stupid."
The next day I tried to google the quote but all that any newspapers are running is "he did a lot of stupid things," but left out the good stuff.

This was one last chance to take a stab at the now former Attorney General who's been a favorite target of mine. It was the first time I tries to draw Grassley, who has a wonderful, wrinkled, complicated, Iowa farmer kind of face. He reminds me either of Dr. Seuss's Grinch or one of the weird aliens in Jim Hansen and Frank Oz's fantasy sci-fi movie, "the Dark Crystal."
I was proud of this cartoon, but of course, they run a week later so they're old news. Gonzo resigned on a Friday, this was in the news Monday, I drew it Tuesday but that same Tuesday the gay Senator from Idaho soliciting a cop in an airport bathroom eclipsed it in the news. But I guess that won't be news by the time it reaches readers mailboxes two Thursdays later.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Well, they finally went and did it. They combined the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper and the Schleswig LEADER into their flagship, Mapleton PRESS. I threw this scan up here in case web readers don't know or believe that I'm actually published in a real newspaper.
I hope/think that readers will like the new paper. I like that it's a heafty 14 pages as opposed to 4 or 6. Except that we didn't have color, I think it stacks up pretty good next to about any other weekly or biweekly I've seen.

I have to admit, however, that it's kind of intimidating. For one thing, I went from two newspapers with around 500 subscribers each to one that (before the merger, already) had a circulation of about 2,535 with an estimated readership of around 5,070. I realize that the Denison papers are over 7,000 and the Des Moines Register is in the neighborhood of 302,896, which pales by comparison to papers in Chicago, L.A., D.C., and New York, but it's still intimidating to me.

I'm also intimidated because Mapleton is where my wife works. Now, not only can she be embarrassed by me in front of her relatives and neighbors, but her colleagues, administrators, students and their parents may occasionally say something to her about her obnoxious, over opinionated husband.

I guess this all hit me when I got my copy and opened it up to page 6. Everything was so huge! For years I felt bad because my cartoons were squeezed into a 3.792 inch space atop of a two-column wide column. So now, a full 5.750 inches seems ENORMOUS. And, in what Garrison Keillor would tell us is typical Midwestern/Lutheran fashion- I feel like I don't deserve it. It's so conspicuous that I feel a little guilty. It LOOKS just like a major metro daily. Yikes.

Well, guess like the Country band 'Big and Rich' like to sing, I'm livin' in the big time. Well, okay, so it's still not the big show, this is still the Farm Leagues, but it is probably like going from the B-Leagues to "AA." I sure hope I'm up to this. Hope I can fill the space and prove myself worthy. I just wish I wasn't feeling so scared about just continuing to do what I love doing. Let's face it, it may be a dream to make it big, but basically it's just a hobby.

Not your father's GOP

We have friends visiting us from California this week. One of them has his PhD so it's really intellectually challenging to debate politics with him. He suggested the idea for the above cartoon to me. This will run in the Aug. 30 issue.

Good Riddence

After our back-to-school teacher meetings, I SHOULD have been cleaning my classroom or getting ready for school to start Wednesday, but I was so excited about the great architect leaving, I had to do this one a week early.

Roid Monster

So, first I drew each of the baseball legends. Ruth as a little frumpy and tubby, Aaron as pretty much a nice guy, and Barry -as Bob Costas recently described him, "super-human."
Next, I put them together in PhotoShop and saved it as a TIFF to use in the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper and Schleswig LEADER.

Finally, I went back to PhotoShop and added color so that it would be a little more fun on by blog and other webpages. Then I emailed it to my favorite baseball fans. Who no doubt, will chastise me because I used the Atlanta Brave's logo rather than the Milwaukee Brave's logo and I got the Giant's uniform all wrong. But hey, like I said on my column blog, if he played for Oakland, he'd be green like the Incredible Hulk that he is.

Bush #43; Nixon II

Did you know that John Mitchell was the commander of JFK's PT boat group in WWII? Weird coincidence. But hey, Rupert Murdoch supports Hillary Clinton, and Ken Starr's law firm has contributed more to her campaign than to the top 4 Republican candidates combined.

I don't know, maybe this is dull as political cartoons go. I was to lazy to use color this week. I like the smoke from Mitchell's pipe, though. I'm worried that I'm getting in a rut of just doing caricatures with captions. Hopefully my brain will come up with something different next week.

Contempt

Sensational Pseudo-Journalism

Note; It really tans my hide when people whine about the "Liberal Media." Duh, how about the Corporate-tool media, as in NBC=GE, CBS=ViaCom, ABC=Disney. Or how about the COMMERCIAL media, as in selling something and making money- hello? THAT's what all TV news is, selling us exactly what we want- and guess what? "The customer is always right." Oh, except of course, FOX News, which of course is SO fair and SO balanced (and NOT Republican propaganda in any way shape or form at all, NOOO.)

What ever happened to Aaron Brown, anyway?

Sooome pig!

Editorial Cartoon for the July19, 2007 Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper and Schleswig Leader.

Another agricultural oddities. You can't ALWAYS have a political point- besides, politics is a little too surreal lately. Besides, E.B White would be proud.

Paris and Scooter

Gulliver's travels

Here is my comic for the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper and Schleswig Leader for July 5, 2007

And by the way, here's the sketchbook page that I originally scanned into PhotoShop

Mayorial Mogul

No sooner than I posted this, than I seem to want to draw one about how Dick Cheney is his own rogue nation, since he's neither part of the Executive nor the Legislative branched of government! Man, truth is stranger than political cartoons lately!

The Pupettmaster