For Aug 28, 08 Mapleton PRESS

I had thought about this idea for today's newspaper, but then I decided to go with that whole "Birth of Venus/Obama" thing since the convention is the 25th-29th. Guess I got things backward. It was actually a half-ways original idea when I thought of it back on Aug 14, since then every cartoonist and their brother have pretty much drawn a variation on this theme. Whatchyagonnado?