Lame duck or dead fish?

Come on all you Caribou Barbie fans, let me have it. I know that nothing provokes your ire more than my poking fun at the lovely yet often incoherent hockey mom.

If you agree with this cartoon, feel free to download, upload, email, print, post, embed, share, print or whatever you want with this cartoon. It drives me crazy that all I can do is post it on the web and not publish it in some newspaper or have it be distributed by some syndicate. Whatchya gonna do?

I can almost guarantee that- even though I'm no longer published in the Mapleton PRESS- it will receive some angry feedback from friends here in the Western Iowa area and from hard core conservative Christians and fellow Concordia Alumni (thanks to my posting it on facebook).

Why they can't see that you don't have to make anything up or lie about her to make her look bad because she does it herself, I guess I'll never know.

But seriously, do me a favor and send this around or hang it up. If not for the hope of increasing my visibility and therefore marketability, if only to propagate awareness about the idiocy of her nonsensical career! Thank you!

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In non clinical terms, Bob is a jerk.

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Total nonsense. But Old Bob Miller's Sarsaparilla made in Mesa Arizona was awesome, it had bite. I think they're out of business now. Sioux City Sarsaparilla is now the predominant maker nationally, but just a little more sweet and a little more smooth than I personally prefer.

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I've been reading 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.' The narrator isn't MPD exactly, but he's "chasing the ghost" of his former self. It made me think of this. I have a friend who's a psychology professor that asked if he could use some of my cartoons to illustrate lectures. I guess that also fed into this too.

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*from 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' by Robert Pirsig

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We will burry you

What a dweeb. He reminds me of Sacha Baron Cohen's character, King Julian the lemur from Madagascar. Feels good to be back in the saddle again- even though this was just for me and not for any newspaper or syndicate. Now I have to get to work on that illustration I promised Mayor Gonzo down in Key West.

Sheep in Wolves's Clothing

Another Book Report

Tough Coughs As He Ploughs the Dough: Early Writings and Cartoons by Dr. Seuss

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
An excerpt-

Clearing up a Misunderstanding

Many people believe that the terms "high-brow" and "low-brow" actually have something to do with the human forehead. This is erroneous. What they really refer to is a man's capacity as a brau drinker. In Germany, the gentleman who can down a high brau is accepted as an aristocrat. If you can only absorb a low brau, you are considered a member of an inferior social stratum.

I liked this book so much that I'm thinking of changing my name to "Theophrastus" in honor of the good Doctor.

View all my reviews.

A Book Report

The Last of the Funnies: A li'l tall tale about America's favorite art form (with Illustrated Appendix). by Mike Cope

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
Anyone else interested, check out their website-

http://lastofthefunnies.com



Pretty funny, but bitter-sweet. Part commentary on the demise of print newspapers and thereby cartooning, with shades of the dehumanizing element of technology- much like 1984 or Fahrenheit 451 but with a lighter tough, with wit and humor a bit like Kurt Vonnegut... plus a touching father/son reconciliation sort of story thrown in. Good stuff!


View all my reviews.

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Oh Crap! I almost forgot that it's National Cartoonist's Day! Better celebrate. I know, why don't I post 4 cartoons in one morning! Okay, sounds like a plan.

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Charmed, I'm sure

National Cartoonist Day; May 5

Remember, May 5 is National Cartoonist Day.

Tell ya what, instead of cards or gifts, just do me a huge HUGE favor and invite people to http://tedstoons.blogspot.com and/or to my mal•toons Facebook group. Encourage them to leave comments and to share it with others.

Okay, okay, TWO huge favors- why not download you favorite of my cartoons and attach it in an email and send it to somebody.

Do those two things between now and May 5 and the cartoon fairy will visit you with good luck. Okay, not really, but if you go to a comic book store,(on May 5) they'll probably give you at no charge to you, a free comic book.

Of course, if you write your local newspaper and tell them that both comics and editorial cartoons are important to you as a subscriber, then the cartoon fairy really will visit you with prosperity and good luck.

Okay, I'm kidding about the prosperity thing, there's only so much that these holiday fairies can do. What do you think they are anyway, magic?

How about this? April 30 is "Poem in your pocket day," why not cut out your favorite cartoon (mine or anybody else's ) and carry it around in your pocket for good luck on May 5?

Okay, I can't promise you good luck, talk to God about that one. But do me a favor, tell somebody about how May 5 is National Cartoonist's Day, will ya? Even most professional cartoonists have pretty much given up on it and I'm really trying to bring it back. Okay?

Thanks!

The return of Mayor Gonz

Mayor Gonzo's publicist insisted that her trademark stogie and hat be present in every representation of her. So... above is the updated version of this cartoon, but below is the original.
Here's a cartoon that commemorates that fateful day when former tabloid journalist and current honorable Mayor of Key West, Florida, Sammie "Gonzo" Mays actually broke INTO prison to get a picture of defamed Cincinnati Red. To learn more about Gonzo Girl, visit her website in the Conch Republic- http://saminthekeys.com

Whew! 3 in one day. I'm feeling really prolific. Actually I drew the Mal•Adjusted last night at my daughter's piano lesson. Not likely that I'll draw this many cartoons all in one day for a long time. All three of my morning classes are mid-project, had several kids absent and didn't need much help. But this was fun. If someone paid me $40K a year or more for it, I could get used to drawing funny pictures all day, and not just for an hour and a half in 15 minute spurts, in between helping kids, during morning.

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Save me, I'm becoming hopelessly esoteric!

Meet Jon Doe

Here's another Facebook Portrait- this one for a former student who's in the music industry in LA. Of course, he asked for this like... MONTHS ago and I'm just now getting around to it. Gigi (that last client) had dozens of old profile pictures to choose from, Jon only had one, not that I'm making excuses.

Freelancing

Here are a couple of cartoon illustrations that I did today.


This one (above) is for a designer in Delaware. She was a regular reader of my Pirate blog and recently asked if I'd consider doing a caricature of her that she could use for her Facebook profile picture. Below is a revamp of one I'd done for Camp Okoboji, Lutheran Summer Camps her in Iowa.

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Beware; there is no casual conversation with people who are both reflective, and hyper-analytical.

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If I'm going to have these spurts of productivity like last week and the last couple of days, I should really post things on a time-released system where they show up once a week for a month instead of once a day for a week. Whatever. This one was fun. She's based on a dentures ad in a early 60's Saturday Evening Post- and a quote on fascism from 1940's Progressive Party Presidential candidate Henry Wallace.

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Whole lotta forehead

Haven't really cartooned for a while. Life and work get busy. But I'm making a concerted effort, so there will be some new 'Mal•Adjusted' panels posted here this week. Meanwhile, here's just a random page from my sketch pad. One benefit of being an Art teacher is that while the 7th graders are glazing their ceramic coil pots, I can draw. One drawback to being an Art teacher is that then as soon as any of them are done they gather around like seagulls at a beach picnic and watch what you're doing and ask "how are you doing that" with amazement, and ask if they can keep a copy and will you draw Nick Jonas for them so they can hang it in their locker and will you teach us do that? Etc. etc. etc.

As usual, this was just a random picture from some farming magazine. Although it did end up looking a little like one of my college professors, but he was a professor that I really liked, so I'd hate to make fun of him. The lines are a little shaky. I think my blood sugar must be taking a dive. Time for lunch. I hate diabetes.